Sibutramina, dois meses depois

Estou tomando Sibutramina há dois meses. Curiosamente comecei a tomar o remédio quando fui fazer um exame de rotina da tireóide porque tenho vários casos de câncer na família. O médico endocronologista pediu que eu fizesse dois exames de ultra-som, um da goela e outro da pança. Não entendi o porquê na hora, mas se o médico pediu agente tem que fazer, né?

Lá fui eu ao hospital e na hora do exame me senti um pouco desconfortável. Não porque eu tenha sentido dor ou algo parecido, mas porque me senti uma mulher grávida. A médica levantou minha camiseta, pediu pra que eu abaixasse um pouco a calça e colocou um tipo de guardanapo em minha cintura, bem ali perto do pinto (até aí tudo bem, eu tava até gostando), mas quando passou um gel geladíssimo na minha barriga e começou a me cutucar com um aparelho que parece aqueles leitores de código de barras nos supermercados, senti meu rosto enrubrecer. Depois foi a vez da garganta. Mesma coisa horrível. Ainda por cima fui embora todo melado porque, nem depois de quase ter acabado com todos os guardanapos do consultório, eu consegui tirar completamente aquela gosma do meu corpo.

Alguns dias depois recebo o resultado do exame: Esteatose Hepática nível III, ou sendo mais direto, fígado inchado e gordo. Sempre com pensamento positivo, achei que seria nível III de 10, mas rapidamente o médico acabou com minhas esperanças. Era nível III de III mesmo, ou seja, se piorasse eu iria virar um foie gras no canapé de algum ricaço excêntrico.

Diante do espanto com o resultado do exame e alertas do médico, peguei a receita e lá fui eu à farmácia comprar o bendito cloridrato de sibutramina monoidradato. Enquanto lia a enorme bula da medicação (a maior que já vi) me deparei com um título curioso: quais os males que este medicamente pode causar?. Nunca li o termo "males" em bulas, sempre leio efeitos colaterais ou reações adversas. O pior é que além de males também há reações adversas, e muitas por sinal. Contei 17 males causados e desisti de contar as reações no item delírio. Como diz minha vó: misericórida divina! 17 males e talvez uma centena de reações adversas que vão do comum ao muito comum. Isso mesmo, não há efeitos colaterais incomuns, só comuns e muito comuns.

Pra piorar a situação ainda leios montes de "geralmente", "normalmente" e "em alguns organismos". Nada é certo com sibutramina. Além de haver uma "experiência com cloridrato de sibutramina monoidradato limitada". Sou praticamente um rato branco de laboratório sendo usado como cobaia. Só não desisti de tomar essa droga porque não conseguia tirar da cabeça a possibilidade de virar uma iguaria francesa.

Não sei se sou facilmente sugestionado ou tenho um azar de imensas proporções. Senti todos os efeitos colaterais, da dor de cabeça à insônia. Com o tempo as reações foram diminuindo, mas meu calvário não acabaria por aí. Fiz um post falando sobre sibutramina e numa conversa com o Janio "Blog Emagrecer" Sarmento (blog de leitura obrigatória para quem quer emagrecer) sobre tal post, ele me disse que não tomava mais sibutramina porque ela "hackeia" o cérebro. Pronto. Agora todo santo dia às 10 horas da manhã, quando tomo o comprimido, imaginava que aquilo era uma espécie de vírus de computador e meu cérebro seria infectado. A paranóia foi tanta que imaginei programas anti-vírus para o cérebro e até a hipótese de formatá-lo.

60 comprimidos depois e 14kg a menos, voltei ao médico. Pra meu espanto e desespero, mesmo com todos os meus argumentos contra, ele me receitou mais 60 comprimidos. Infelizmente manterei por mais dois meses minha orgia intoxicante com as Sras. Sibutramina, Insônia e dor de cabeça. Parece que as Srtas Náuseas e Sudorese também querem participar. O delírio já marcou presença.

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